Amber Tries: 2 Day Juice Cleanse - DAY ONE
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT
I will be making a video about thisordeal experience! Stay tuned.
Part I: USELESS PREAMBLE
Juicing: a great way to feel like you're packing your body full of nutrients, when you're actually just packing it full of sugar - unless, of course, you are super careful and read the labels / make your own juices.
If you make your own juices, however, it is unlikely that your juices would be 'cold pressed' - which is a method whereby the machine crushes the ingredients rather than using a fast-spinning blade to extract the juices, and if cold juices devotees (but mainly, businesses that sell cold pressed juices) are to be believed, traditional juicers heat up the ingredients in the process and as a result, you lose some of the nutritional value.
Most juice cleanses start from about 3 days; though a quick search on Youtube will tell you that there are crazy people out there who do month-long juice cleanses. Their tempting before and after photos seem to suggest they shed kilos and built muscles in the process, but I am highly skeptical about both the weight loss and the muscle gain:
My skepticism aside, I have been incredibly slack both with this Amber Tries series and with my diet, so perhaps a juice cleanse is just what I need to kick myself into better habits (both writing and eating).
Part II: METHOD
Being the lazy person that I am, I decide to buy my way to 'detoxification'. I found Pressed Juices, which has a store near my work that sells exorbitantly expensive, yet intriguing, cold pressed juices. They offer several juice cleanse options ranging from $198 for 3 days to $319 for 5 days. For each day, you get 8 juices.
Not wanting to shell out that much moolah for something I don't actually believe in and remembering that I'm about half the height of a normal member of the homo sapiens species, I decided that instead of 8 juices a day, I'd cut my intake down to 6. The main reason for this reduction apart from cost, of course, is that I'm genuinely concerned that if I actually drank 8 juices a day my blood sugar would go through the roof.
I decided to drink 6 juices a day. I will get 6 juices from Pressed Juices, add another 6 cheaper yet comparable juices from other brands.
To mark this special occasion, I have developed the following rating system (as opposed to my usual scoring system for restaurants, where 2 is average and 3 is good):
1: tastes like depression
2: tastes unfortunate but in a non-depressive way
3: tolerable
4: good
5: delicious
I will also separate the taste score from the over all score, which also takes into account how healthy the drink is.
Part III: AMBER TRIES: DAY 1 (FRIDAY)
I somehow managed to survive a work day on nothing but juices. My industry is notorious for being highly stressful, so I'm usually constantly hungry at work (part of the reason why I've put on 4kgs since I started working full time, no doubt). This is a feat and I won't shy away from patting myself on the back.
I have observed from pouring over Pressed Juices's website that days begin and end with 'tonics', which are juices with extra fancy ingredients which you never thought should be ingested. According to their website, the morning tonics (the pink lemonade and the black lemonade) 'provide detoxification and digestive support by stimulating to [sic] the digestive enzymes and cleansing the lower digestive tract'. Mmmmmmm appetising.
My bowel-cleanser of the day is The Pink Lemonade.
Ingredients: alkaline water, strawberry, lemon, ginger, bentonite clay
Nutritional Information: 42 cal for 470ml; 1g protein; 0.1g fat; 4.4g sugar
General Information: if you dig deeply enough on the Pressed Juices website, you will find this warning in relation to the Pink Lemondade: 'Caution: Take 2 hours away from medication & supplements due to the magnetic attraction of the clay.' OK then. Why they didn't put it on the bottle in bold text is a mystery. Apparently the bentonite clay exerts a 'magnetic' attraction on toxins, which the website tells us are 'positively charged'. Toxin particles are drawn into the porous surface of the clay and expelled through the poop chute (they used slightly more refined terms).
Amber's Comments: this is a reasonably refreshing, yet not cheek-puckering-sour juice. There are visible strawberry seeds in the liquid, with a strong strawberry taste. The kick of ginger really comes through as an after taste, and I find it quite pleasant. I'm not sure whether all this description of clay-magic had gotten into my head, but I do think there is a slightly clay-like texture to the drink; sort of like a dry-ish film of small particles left in your mouth after each sip. I particularly like the fact that every single ingredient of this drink can be tasted / felt; and I was pleasantly surprised at how low in sugar and calories this drink is.
Score (taste): 4
Score (over all): 4
The second juice of the day is a non-Pressed-Juices drink, and therefore less than half the price (and therefore does not get its own glamour shot taken on the marble window sill of an expensive jeweler). I picked the Bruce Redder cold pressed juice to keep with the theme. Observe how it advertises itself as a beetroot, apple and ginger juice.
Ingredients: 78% fruit juice (pear, apple, lemon) and 22% vegetable juice (beetroot, tomato, ginger)
Nutritional Information: 120 cal for 300ml; 2.1g protein; <1g fat; 24.3g sugar
General Information: This is more like the typical sugar-profile of a fruit and vegetable juice (with pure fruit juices going even higher). That works out to be about 8.3% sugar, really not that much better than coke. This is the most sugary drink of the day, so I decided to consume it just before I go to the gym - not that I was planning on doing anything overly strenuous: I attended half a yoga class.
Amber's Comments: The beetroot taste in this juice is so overpowering that I can barely taste any other ingredients. Was the ginger there? If it was, I couldn't taste a kick. This makes me wonder why they bothered to put in all the sugary fruits - they really haven't added much to the flavour profile of the drink. Oh, and, when those bentonite clay starts working its magic, no doubt I'll have a bowel cancer scare thanks to the beetroot.
Score (taste): 3
Score (over all): 2
The third drink of the day was ingested after my so-called 'gym sesh', as it has the heaviest protein profile of all the drinks. It is also the most expensive, coming at an eye-watering $12.50 a pop.
Ingredients: cashew mylk (filtered water, cashew, sea salt, vanilla bean), coconut mylk (coconut, water), tumeric, manuka honey, cinammon, ginger, clove, black pepper, cardamon
Nutritional Information: 450 cal for 470ml; 8.5g protein; 33.8g fat; 15.8g sugar
General Information: Ah. Turmeric. Miracle cure if there ever was one, apparently. The caloric profile of this drink was truly an eye-opener. 450! That's more than a Maccas Cheeseburger y'all.
Amber's Comments: this drink tasted like dirt. Imagine a curry. Now take away all the salty goodness that makes curries enjoyable. The bland yet weirdly spicy water is what the Golden Mylkshake basically tastes like. It also leaves a horrible aftertaste that won't wash away with water - you will have to put up with it until your next juice.
Score (taste): 1
Score (over all): 1
The fourth drink of the day is the Green Bruce.
Ingredients: 64.3% fruit juice (pear, apple, lemon) and 34.5% vegetable juice (cucumber, celery spinach, kale, spirulina), ascorbic acid
Nutritional Information: 86 cal for 300ml; 2.2g protein; <1g fat; 16.6g sugar
General Information: having a low caloric profile, this green and mean juice is moderately high in sugar at about 5.5%. It boasts some fashionable ingredients, particularly spirulina, which is something of a super food. The quality of protein in spirulina is comparable to eggs (but you put so little spirulina in anything that involves spirulina that this is basically a moot point), it contains all the essential amino acids that we need. Though there have been claims that spirulina contains vitamin B12, the truth is that it contains pseudovitamin B12 which is ineffective in humans.
Amber's Comments: after the Golden Mylkshake this tasted like heaven. It has quite a clean, green taste. My gripe with it is that the percentage of ingredients that are healthy and attractive is very low, yet prominently advertised at the front of the bottle: for example, this drink only contains 15 kale, 0.2% spirulina and 2% spinach. I appreciate that these aren't exactly very juice-able ingredients, but the bottle makes it sounds like they are major ingredients, when in reality you're just drinking a mainly fruit, juice.
Score (taste): 3
Score (over all): 3
The fifth drink of the day is organic coconut water, because at this point I'm really freaking out about sugar intake.
Ingredients: 100% coconut water
Nutritional Information: 67 cal for 330ml; >1g protein; <1g fat; 7.6g sugar
General Information: Coconut water is coconut water is coconut water. It's been so popular that most people would know what it tastes like. This particular brand boasts of only 2.3% sugar.
Amber's Comments: never tastes as good as an actual coconut. The taste gets really weird for some reason, no matter what brand you try. Unless, of course, you buy those delicious, heavily-sugared Asian coconut water - they are heavenly, but also incredibly unhealthy.
Score (taste): 3
Score (over all): 4
Final drink of the day. I'm already exhausted from missing food.
Ingredients: alkaline water, licorice root, chia seeds, marshmallow root, cinnamon, slippery elm
Nutritional Information: 15 cal for 470ml; 0.5g protein; 0.9g fat; 0g sugar
General Information: according to Pressed Juices, the evening tonics are 'medicinal herbal infusions that are hydrating and healing, [and] soothe the digestive tract and calm the nerves to promote relaxation and restful sleep'. The Slippery Elm, in particular, promises to soothe 'everything from a scratchy throat to an unsettled digestive tract', and 'can be beneficial to the mind, body and the soul'. Wowser. Sounding just a tab unbelievable. Also, it promises to make me feel 'balance and grounded'. I'm never balanced and grounded. Never.
Amber's Comments: despite my skepticism towards its multitude of healing properties, this is a winner for me. If you have a strong dislike for licorice, maybe don't try this one; but I personally am no fan of licorice but I find the taste quite enjoyable nonetheless. It is sweet, yet it has zero sugar content; and it is textured from the chia seeds, which I'm very grateful for after an entire day of not chewing. Winner.
Score (taste): 4
Score (over all): 5
PART IV: OVERALL NUTRITIONAL PROFILE FOR DAY 1
STAY TUNED
For Part 2, where I reflect upon what I have been through.
I will be making a video about this
Part I: USELESS PREAMBLE
Juicing: a great way to feel like you're packing your body full of nutrients, when you're actually just packing it full of sugar - unless, of course, you are super careful and read the labels / make your own juices.
If you make your own juices, however, it is unlikely that your juices would be 'cold pressed' - which is a method whereby the machine crushes the ingredients rather than using a fast-spinning blade to extract the juices, and if cold juices devotees (but mainly, businesses that sell cold pressed juices) are to be believed, traditional juicers heat up the ingredients in the process and as a result, you lose some of the nutritional value.
Most juice cleanses start from about 3 days; though a quick search on Youtube will tell you that there are crazy people out there who do month-long juice cleanses. Their tempting before and after photos seem to suggest they shed kilos and built muscles in the process, but I am highly skeptical about both the weight loss and the muscle gain:
- Unless you are very, very careful about what juices you choose, it is very easy to pack in the calories without even realising; and weight loss really is just a simple fact of mathematics.
- Juices are mainly sugar. As far as I'm aware, protein is what aids muscle development; so unless you are including some kind of protein powder into your juices, how could you build any muscles?
My skepticism aside, I have been incredibly slack both with this Amber Tries series and with my diet, so perhaps a juice cleanse is just what I need to kick myself into better habits (both writing and eating).
Part II: METHOD
Being the lazy person that I am, I decide to buy my way to 'detoxification'. I found Pressed Juices, which has a store near my work that sells exorbitantly expensive, yet intriguing, cold pressed juices. They offer several juice cleanse options ranging from $198 for 3 days to $319 for 5 days. For each day, you get 8 juices.
Not wanting to shell out that much moolah for something I don't actually believe in and remembering that I'm about half the height of a normal member of the homo sapiens species, I decided that instead of 8 juices a day, I'd cut my intake down to 6. The main reason for this reduction apart from cost, of course, is that I'm genuinely concerned that if I actually drank 8 juices a day my blood sugar would go through the roof.
I decided to drink 6 juices a day. I will get 6 juices from Pressed Juices, add another 6 cheaper yet comparable juices from other brands.
To mark this special occasion, I have developed the following rating system (as opposed to my usual scoring system for restaurants, where 2 is average and 3 is good):
1: tastes like depression
2: tastes unfortunate but in a non-depressive way
3: tolerable
4: good
5: delicious
I will also separate the taste score from the over all score, which also takes into account how healthy the drink is.
Part III: AMBER TRIES: DAY 1 (FRIDAY)
I somehow managed to survive a work day on nothing but juices. My industry is notorious for being highly stressful, so I'm usually constantly hungry at work (part of the reason why I've put on 4kgs since I started working full time, no doubt). This is a feat and I won't shy away from patting myself on the back.
I have observed from pouring over Pressed Juices's website that days begin and end with 'tonics', which are juices with extra fancy ingredients which you never thought should be ingested. According to their website, the morning tonics (the pink lemonade and the black lemonade) 'provide detoxification and digestive support by stimulating to [sic] the digestive enzymes and cleansing the lower digestive tract'. Mmmmmmm appetising.
My bowel-cleanser of the day is The Pink Lemonade.
 |
| The Pink Lemonade, $9 |
Ingredients: alkaline water, strawberry, lemon, ginger, bentonite clay
Nutritional Information: 42 cal for 470ml; 1g protein; 0.1g fat; 4.4g sugar
General Information: if you dig deeply enough on the Pressed Juices website, you will find this warning in relation to the Pink Lemondade: 'Caution: Take 2 hours away from medication & supplements due to the magnetic attraction of the clay.' OK then. Why they didn't put it on the bottle in bold text is a mystery. Apparently the bentonite clay exerts a 'magnetic' attraction on toxins, which the website tells us are 'positively charged'. Toxin particles are drawn into the porous surface of the clay and expelled through the poop chute (they used slightly more refined terms).
Amber's Comments: this is a reasonably refreshing, yet not cheek-puckering-sour juice. There are visible strawberry seeds in the liquid, with a strong strawberry taste. The kick of ginger really comes through as an after taste, and I find it quite pleasant. I'm not sure whether all this description of clay-magic had gotten into my head, but I do think there is a slightly clay-like texture to the drink; sort of like a dry-ish film of small particles left in your mouth after each sip. I particularly like the fact that every single ingredient of this drink can be tasted / felt; and I was pleasantly surprised at how low in sugar and calories this drink is.
Score (taste): 4
Score (over all): 4
The second juice of the day is a non-Pressed-Juices drink, and therefore less than half the price (and therefore does not get its own glamour shot taken on the marble window sill of an expensive jeweler). I picked the Bruce Redder cold pressed juice to keep with the theme. Observe how it advertises itself as a beetroot, apple and ginger juice.
 |
| Bruce Redder, $3.50 |
Nutritional Information: 120 cal for 300ml; 2.1g protein; <1g fat; 24.3g sugar
General Information: This is more like the typical sugar-profile of a fruit and vegetable juice (with pure fruit juices going even higher). That works out to be about 8.3% sugar, really not that much better than coke. This is the most sugary drink of the day, so I decided to consume it just before I go to the gym - not that I was planning on doing anything overly strenuous: I attended half a yoga class.
Amber's Comments: The beetroot taste in this juice is so overpowering that I can barely taste any other ingredients. Was the ginger there? If it was, I couldn't taste a kick. This makes me wonder why they bothered to put in all the sugary fruits - they really haven't added much to the flavour profile of the drink. Oh, and, when those bentonite clay starts working its magic, no doubt I'll have a bowel cancer scare thanks to the beetroot.
Score (taste): 3
Score (over all): 2
The third drink of the day was ingested after my so-called 'gym sesh', as it has the heaviest protein profile of all the drinks. It is also the most expensive, coming at an eye-watering $12.50 a pop.
 |
| The Golden Mylkshake, $12.50 |
Ingredients: cashew mylk (filtered water, cashew, sea salt, vanilla bean), coconut mylk (coconut, water), tumeric, manuka honey, cinammon, ginger, clove, black pepper, cardamon
Nutritional Information: 450 cal for 470ml; 8.5g protein; 33.8g fat; 15.8g sugar
General Information: Ah. Turmeric. Miracle cure if there ever was one, apparently. The caloric profile of this drink was truly an eye-opener. 450! That's more than a Maccas Cheeseburger y'all.
 |
| Like a curry, but sad. |
Score (taste): 1
Score (over all): 1
The fourth drink of the day is the Green Bruce.
 |
| Bruce Greener, $3.50 |
Nutritional Information: 86 cal for 300ml; 2.2g protein; <1g fat; 16.6g sugar
General Information: having a low caloric profile, this green and mean juice is moderately high in sugar at about 5.5%. It boasts some fashionable ingredients, particularly spirulina, which is something of a super food. The quality of protein in spirulina is comparable to eggs (but you put so little spirulina in anything that involves spirulina that this is basically a moot point), it contains all the essential amino acids that we need. Though there have been claims that spirulina contains vitamin B12, the truth is that it contains pseudovitamin B12 which is ineffective in humans.
Amber's Comments: after the Golden Mylkshake this tasted like heaven. It has quite a clean, green taste. My gripe with it is that the percentage of ingredients that are healthy and attractive is very low, yet prominently advertised at the front of the bottle: for example, this drink only contains 15 kale, 0.2% spirulina and 2% spinach. I appreciate that these aren't exactly very juice-able ingredients, but the bottle makes it sounds like they are major ingredients, when in reality you're just drinking a mainly fruit, juice.
Score (taste): 3
Score (over all): 3
The fifth drink of the day is organic coconut water, because at this point I'm really freaking out about sugar intake.
 |
| Organic Coconut Water, Coconut Collective, $3.50 |
Nutritional Information: 67 cal for 330ml; >1g protein; <1g fat; 7.6g sugar
General Information: Coconut water is coconut water is coconut water. It's been so popular that most people would know what it tastes like. This particular brand boasts of only 2.3% sugar.
Amber's Comments: never tastes as good as an actual coconut. The taste gets really weird for some reason, no matter what brand you try. Unless, of course, you buy those delicious, heavily-sugared Asian coconut water - they are heavenly, but also incredibly unhealthy.
Score (taste): 3
Score (over all): 4
Final drink of the day. I'm already exhausted from missing food.
 |
| The Slippery Elm, $9 |
Nutritional Information: 15 cal for 470ml; 0.5g protein; 0.9g fat; 0g sugar
General Information: according to Pressed Juices, the evening tonics are 'medicinal herbal infusions that are hydrating and healing, [and] soothe the digestive tract and calm the nerves to promote relaxation and restful sleep'. The Slippery Elm, in particular, promises to soothe 'everything from a scratchy throat to an unsettled digestive tract', and 'can be beneficial to the mind, body and the soul'. Wowser. Sounding just a tab unbelievable. Also, it promises to make me feel 'balance and grounded'. I'm never balanced and grounded. Never.
Amber's Comments: despite my skepticism towards its multitude of healing properties, this is a winner for me. If you have a strong dislike for licorice, maybe don't try this one; but I personally am no fan of licorice but I find the taste quite enjoyable nonetheless. It is sweet, yet it has zero sugar content; and it is textured from the chia seeds, which I'm very grateful for after an entire day of not chewing. Winner.
Score (taste): 4
Score (over all): 5
PART IV: OVERALL NUTRITIONAL PROFILE FOR DAY 1
- Calories: 780
- Macros: 61% carbs, 33% fat, 6% protein.
- Protein: 16g. That's 122g under my daily goal (not that I ever reach it, tbh).
- Carbs: at 129g, this is 30g over my daily goal.
- Sugar: 53g
- Fat: 36g, which is 26g under my daily goal; but at 22g, my saturated fat level is 5g higher than desired.
- Sodium: 508mg, which is 1792mg under my daily goal. At least my body will thank me for this part.
STAY TUNED
For Part 2, where I reflect upon what I have been through.
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