I Don't Eat, I Devour

This is possibly the oddest review I have ever done, and will ever do, for one big reason: I only had a bite of the entire depressing affair. However, the smell, the look, the taste of that single bite and the unsolicited additional hair that came served with the bite was enough to inform me. I had been extremely excited for the high tea at the National Gallery of Victoria (which has an impressive collection so it's well worth the visit), especially since they claimed to be serving a special set of high tea 'inspired by Andy Warhol and Ai Wei Wei'. Behold. I'm not quite sure what's Warhol-y or Ai-y about this beige affair. Huh??? Avant-garde?  First, all the teas served have exotic names - except they are simply T2 blends (I recognise every single blend). This is not good enough for an expensive high tea establishment. Now, let's move onto the only acceptable part of the tea: the scones. Then again, how hard would be be to screw up scones? I will j...

So, this is probably the most depressing review I will ever do if I'm lucky. Terrible food? Check. Rude waitress? Check. Inefficient service? Check. Overcharging? Check, check, check. There are only 2 dishes in this review, but oh trust me, I have plenty to say about them. This depressing creation of two poached eggs on two pieces of bread and a sad excuse of a 'salad' is Creme Cafe's version of 'poached eggs on toast'. I suppose they decided to take a literal approach to their food, because there is literally nothing on the toast but eggs - no butter, no salt, no pepper, no flavour. My companion then spent 10 minutes trying to get some butter and salt out of the very rude waitress who snapped at him to wait, and in the end he had to go into the kitchen to ask for some himself while his food got cold - imagine cold poached eggs on toast! I don't understand why Creme Cafe decided to name itself after a dairy product because they seem very reluctant to se...